I Need to Clean My Section

My Sunday shifts aren’t usually interesting. There’s a sort of monotone feel to the routine of waiting tables.

Unless of course it’s, “Balloon Lady Day”.

She doesn’t adorn our location with popped balloon fragments every Sunday, but when she does I’m a happy camper.

She’s been in the profession for 22 years, and she’s very good at her craft. Lucky me, I always get the day’s free product.

That being said, my first Christmas gift this year was a balloon elf.

I’ve named him, Henry David. For no other reason than, I’m intrigued by the real Henry David Thoreau’s life, and I like him very much.

Anyway, Henry David sat at the to-go cash register during my shift, and had a front row seat to ridiculousness. As long as MY Henry remains a beautifully inflated masterpiece, he shall serve as a reminder that people in general don’t believe servers want to celebrate holidays like the rest of society.

C.M. wrote a letter:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. So And So,

My colleagues and I greatly appreciate the opportunity you’ve afforded us, to bring smiles to your faces with great service and delicious food. We are also thankful for the tip, because – two dollars and some change per hour.

However, it is Christmas Eve, and though we (some of us) had a say in whether we worked tonight, or not, we would still like to leave in a timely manner to enjoy the holiday.

Next year, please do not stay at your table discussing life for hours after you’re done with your meal or walk into our establishment 10 minutes before the doors are locked, and force us to shine a generic smile as if we don’t mind the heinous act you just committed.

It takes about an hour for guests to complete a meal. Mr. and Mrs. So And So, a lot of my colleagues are parents, do you truly believe in your deepest heart of hearts, that they would rather spend one more hour refilling tea, and one less hour bonding with their children?

it’s not okay, yes we mind, no you’re not more than welcome to request extra stuff every 5 minutes.

“Well, no one put a gun to-”

Before something ridiculous is allowed to fully formulate in your thoughts and birth itself from your mouth, just remember – two dollars and some change per hour. We have bills.

You are very welcome to order your food, eat, and leave as quickly as possible. We closed 40 minutes ago.

Welp, it’s been a pleasure writing to you, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, come back and see us soon!

Regards,

Servers Everywhere

Henry David wanted me to tell you, he also has thoughts, but he has chosen to keep them to himself.

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