Do you ever wonder if you’re living life right?
Now, I don’t use the phrase in the way an old religious grandmother would – to suggest that not being home by 11pm would quantify you as a bad person.
No, not in that way. Because I’m great.
And I come home when I please.
Living life right, more in the sense of grabbing it by the horns, “adulting”, essentially rocking out on the red guitar of “Hold my beer, this is going to be awesome.”
See, my recreational people watching had been shoved to a deeper level when I realized I might be just, doing life.
Doing life in every allusion, complete with imagery of a prisoner in jail until they die, I tuned my people watching to a deeper level, with the hopes of catching a glimpse of someone’s instruction manual to how this thing is supposed to work.
The manual I’d taken a page from belonged to one of my managers, that is now my co-worker. (I got a promotion. If you didn’t know, now you freaking do.) I’ll call her Diana here, with all the Wonder Woman similarities along for the ride.
When dealing with guests, or new experiences I’m a very calculated person. Before I commit to an act I think about as many possible outcomes as I can, in as much time as I’m allotted for the situation, to decide which would yield the best benefit for everyone involved.
I drew that out to basically say I take “think before you do”, to a very serious level on the regular.
There are, like everything else in the world, pros and cons to this characteristic of mine that when given the opportunity, I always want to learn ways to dial that back. Most days Diana is my way to learn.
In work we’re both go-getters and love achieving, but I’m still learning and making *sigh* lots of mistakes. After talking to a table, it’s a rare occurrence that they’re still upset when she leaves. Problems arise and it seems as if she instantly has her course of action, and that action seems to never fail. In life we’re more alike than I would have ever thought and at the same time as different as I expected. Different interests, but the same desire to take every experience life wants you to have, instead of observing on the sidelines.
Trusting her opinion and critiques, I ask questions that sometimes lead to long talks during a car ride, or other times quick tips on how to do something better.
Out of possibly a couple hundred, I so far have 3 favorite lessons that might lend you a new perspective, or a needed reminder.
Your job gives you this chart of sorts that tells you what time to be there, and what time to be, not there. Follow it. Balance of work and life, only leads to you having a less stressful and more awesome life. You deserve that, so go get that balance.
My calculations would routinely have me staying late to be “helpful”, but lately I’ve had a basket of hot wings calling for my attention at clock-out time, because in reality my job didn’t need a lot of the extra hours I was giving like candy on Halloween.
2. Seek council, then seek a trash bin to toss those tears
Truth hurts, criticism makes you reflect on your fuck ups, and sometimes you will be read like a best selling novel. You can’t please the world, and you can’t cater to the sensitivity of others. If someone hurt your feelings, it’s okay to hurt a little and ask for a trustworthy second opinion of your performance, but then it’s time to pull your pants back up and do better next time. There’s no time for sulking because you got in trouble; especially during the lunch rush.
On the flip-side, if you’ve triggered someone’s hurt with a healthy dose of, “you need to be told this”, again, it’s okay to ask for a trustworthy second opinion of your delivery, but then it’s time to move on to something that’s actually important and hope they’ve learned to well, do better.
3. Be unapologetic about your empty jar of care
There are rules, and rules need to be followed to keep things running smoothly. Of course they can be bent occasionally because life is tough, but for the most part we all have a job to do and we must do said job or be fired.
You better not be fired OR stressed for anyone because they don’t want to do their job, or want to find an easy way out. One too many times, my calculations left me spending my valuable time trying to help an employee/ friend that didn’t deserve it. I quit that like a bad habit and I’m not sorry for the consecutive steps I then take to force you to do better.
I don’t care if you’re mad at me, but I do care if your laziness and/or drama ruin another person’s meal or entire day.
Look, life is short and you only get to have one (As far as I know). Ask for help the moment you need it, laugh when things are funny, find your ways to do your life better, and live it the “right” way.